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Thursday, January 26, 2017

My Engagement Day

Assalamualaikum semua,

Hey I'm back! After 1 year missing.... HAHA, entah ada lagi ke tak orang baca blog myra ni kan? setiap post mesti setahun sekali. LOL!

Remember my last post a year ago about Allah has better plan for me, yup He really does. Alhamdulillah, myra dah pun selamat mengikat ikatan pertunangan 3 minggu lepas pada 3 Disember 2016. In brief, syukur majlis semua berjalan lancar.

To be honest, I am truly happy now. Everything has changed. Dulu, myra selalu rasa I don't deserve to be happy. I was damn wrong. Everyone deserves to be happy. It just it takes the best man to make you happy.

How do I met my fiance?

Long story short, we were inside the same Whatsapp group that gathers football passionate fan named GSB (Group Sembang Bola). Before I leave Malaysia for Bandung, ada this one guy just call him S (in the same whatsapp group) try to hit on me. Since masa tu I was like so needy for attention plus I hate friendzoning people, I accepted this guy and we became official. So at that time, rupanya my fiance ni mmg ada crush la kat Myra. Dia pun try Myra and I started to like be nice to him until I feel guilty gila tak bagitahu I dah ada relationship dengan orang lain. Until masa tu jadi kecoh gila kat group pasal kitorang couple senyap2 sampailah kat pengetahuan bang Naza (my fiance).

Agak-agak kalau kena kat orang lain mesti dah freak out, dah mengamuk kan? Tapi nampaklah kematangan dia kat situ bila dia accept je dengan tenang. Lepas tu dia takde contact lagi dah dengan myra. kalau ada pun dia macam mengelak je. Nanti ada je lah alasan dia "k lah, sorry kacau"hahaha

In a few months kat Bandung, lots of things happened and one of it, I let other people to flirt on me named Aizat (yes, dulu Myra mmg playgirl gila duhh. Jahat siaa aku dulu) Myra lambat laun jadi boring dgn si S ni, and we became rarely contact plus dia busy with FYP and all. Aizat ni pulak the biggest cunt of all, he knows from the first place yang I have a boyfriend tau masa tu. I asked him, you tahu I ada boyfriend tapi you nak sailang I jugak? He said yes. So since I let someone in, I knew that I actually dont have any feeling for S. I don't wanna play around, I told S "Lets just be friends"

S koyak gila2, macam tak boleh terima langsung I wanna breakup with him. And then si Aizat found out about S yg koyak gila, suddenly he became a coward. He felt sorry for what happened to S and he doesn't want to commit with me (bangang kan?) Dahlah dia yang start flirting dulu lepas tu taknak take responsibility on his action.  Lantak dia lahhh. So masa tu I was cool lah, no need to give a flying fuck on anyone.

Few weeks after that, I left the whatsapp group due to some reason. Bang Naza whatsapp me out of concern on why I left the group. There he goes dia cakap lah "k lah sorry kacau. nanti kacau pulak nak otp dgn S" then I told him the truth, what happened, between me and S, about Aizat. He listened attentively, tak menyampuk pun. Masa tu dia macam bergurau lah, dia kata since dia tahu myra dah single dia rasa macam nak try Myra balik. LOL.

Long story short, he knows pasal my personality disorder and macam tergerak nak tolong. That time, I was still a playgirl. I don't even lay any thoughts on getting serious with him. A night before I fly back to Malaysia, I had a casual chat with my friends, some are from Nigeria, Thailand, Indonesia, Australia and many more. We had this topic on family, love, relationship and all. Since I never had any serious and steady relationship with anyone,

I asked them "The problem is, how do you know that he/she is 'the right one'?"

and my friend, Alvin's answer has changed my whole life perspective and decision.

"Sometimes it's not about finding the right one, but being the right one"

I fly back to Malaysia with that thoughts lingering in my mind. Back at my hometown, I tried to fix my relationship with S. I wanted to end it well, its not that I want him back but that doesn't mean we are over right? S insisted to come to JB, meet me and spent his time with me. I totally disagree with his idea because I don't want him to get his hope high and think he got even slight chance to get back together with me.

BOOM! it turns out, he freaked out when I still not changing my mind after we met. Duh, he cant force me to love him when I dont even love him. He knew about bang Naza and got even freaked out. He thought bang Naza took me away from him and it wasnt even true! Things got worse when he made up stories about me and said nasty things about my fiance and we got into twitter wars for like 2-3 weeks.

My fiance is the coolest guy ever, he didn't even triggered with S provocation even though S said a lot of bad things to him. He really did many things that changed the way I think, the way I react on things and many more. That is how and why I slowly fell in love with him. I became a better person when I am with him.


He knew about my thoughts on having other guy as my option and learned that I'm actually afraid of being hurted like Aizat did to me. Again' I'm amazed that he got me to think the other way around. and to my surprise, he already told his mom about me. I was damn moved because nobody ever take me seriously. They played me around and vice versa. Then suddenly what Alwin said came across my mind. I started to think this is the moment, if I want the the right one I must be the right one. I frankly told everything to my fiance, my past, my fears and everything. I told him I wanted to change for good.

Tbh, I'm surprised he wasn't taken aback. He accepted me, the way I am. Masa tu myra bawak tunang myra jumpa mak ayah, tak sangka mak ayah terima dia seadanya. Tunang myra ni pernah ada pengalaman kena reject dgn mak kpd ex dia sbb rupa paras. Alhamdulillah, at least my parents bukan jenis pandang rupa paras. The same way goes to his parents and family, semua terima myra dgn baik. I guess, they have been waiting for too long for someone to love their son hehehe :)

Ni masa first time jumpa bakal mak mertua hehe


So there goes my story hehe. Sorrylah panjang pulak bercerita hari ni. Tanggal 3 disember tibalah rombongan meminang ke Teluk Sengat. Alhamdulillah majlis semua berjalan lancar. Dalam next post myra akan cerita pasal serba sedikit persiapan majlis bertunang Myra. Stay tune yaa hikss



ek? takkan bace je? tekan je lahh komen ke,tick ke pas tu FOLLOW eh?

Friday, October 16, 2015

Allah Has A Better Plan For Me

Assalamualaikum,

*bersihkan sawang*

Dah lama betul myra tak berkongsi cerita kat sini kan? Sejak mula bergiat aktif dengan twitter ni kesian blog semakin dilupakan. To update, hari ni 15 Oktober 2015 (Khamis) and I'm still/already 22 years old. Still young and gorgeous. Acewahh!

Its 2 months away sebelum genap setahun myra tak menulis kat sini. Of course macam-macam benda jadi sepanjang waktu tu. Myra sambung degree kat UiTM Puncak Alam, had a short and sweet relationship with my life changer, AM, going through post-breakup depression mode on the weeks of final examination week but still managed to slay a flying color result, Selected for exchange student program to Indonesia.. hahahaha. Yep! Now I am writing this post in a small yet cute coffee shop at Universitas Pendidikan Bandung, Indonesia :)

Told ya, lots of good and bad things happened though :p

Anyway, I have a long rants here. Brace yourself readers! At this point of my life, I feel grateful. Because when Allah said that He has better plan for you, just have faith.

8 tahun lepas, keputusan PMR myra agak cemerlang. I even did well my PMR trial, I was listed as top 10 best student in my batch. I was at my best performance during that time. Especially dengan ada nya Arin,(If you are a constant reader, you must know who he is :p) He's the one who motivates me to be the best. Dari drop kelas masa form 2, he motivates me untuk score first in class, and we even both got straight As in PMR. Tapi sesungguhnya perancangan Allah tu memang cantik sangat. Kita cuma merancang, Dia yang menentukan.

 I've once read someone's wrote that
Allah has only 3 answers for your du'a.
1. Yes.
2. Yes but not now.
3. I have a better plan for you.
He will never say No for an answer.

Walaupun dapat keputusan yang cemerlang dalam PMR, myra tak dapat apa-apa tawaran ke Sekolah Berasrama Penuh (SBP) atau pun Maktab Rendah Sains MARA (MRSM). Yang kelakarnya, surat makluman tempat peperiksaan untuk kemasukan MRSM tak sampai kat rumah myra.

Sorang demi seorang kawan-kawan myra dapat tawaran ke sana dan myra masih di SMK Mohd Khalid. Termasuklah Arin yang dapat tawaran ke SASER. Lama-kelamaan kitorang makin renggang. Disebabkan beberapa insiden, myra terpaksa undurkan diri. Myra faham dia nak fokus dengan studi masa tu. Entah kenapa lepas tu motivasi myra terus merudum termasuklah prestasi pelajaran Myra. I lost my interest in science subjects walhal dulu myra yang beriya nak jadi doktor veterinar la, paediatrician lah.

Mula lah hilang semangat nak belajar sampai satu tahap sanggup ponteng kelas, cabut dari sekolah sebab nak pergi berjimba kat City Square (nasib baiklah tak pernah kantoi), dalam kelas tidur, copy homework member bla bla bla. I know I was a bad girl before. Lots of things happened to me but luckily dalam dajal-dajal tu, I still score 5A1B3C in my SPM exam. It was quite impressive because I only passed my Add Math test twice in two years.LOL!. Good news for Arin sebab dia dapat 9A+1A. He's so genius mehh!

Masa tu myra down teruk jugaklah. you know my mom, being a teacher, she expects that I got at least 6As. She made me think that SPM is everything and I sucked at it. Meanwhile, my bestfriend Airin dapat 4A je tapi family dia punya happy and congratulate macam dapat straight As! Jealous teruk Myra masa tu.

Tapi sekurang-kurangnya myra sangat-sangat bersyukur myra dah ada kesedaran yang myra dah tak ada passion dalam bidang sains. Myra tahu myra dah tak minat dan myra takkan teruskan buat benda yang myra tak minat. Dan atas sebab yang samalah myra tak apply pun ke matrikulasi.


And that one night changes everything, Myra datang rumah my bestfriend Airin with my parents. (p/s our parents mmg dah lama kenal since we are not even born yet) Bestfriend myra Airin pulak tunjuk pasal sekolah teknik vokasional dia, ada masak2 apa semua dan hati myra terdetik. Kenapalah lepas pmr dulu aku tak masuk sekolah teknik je?

Myra pun apply Diploma Seni Kulinari kat uitm in UPU. Although I can see my mom was quite disappointed and expect me to be a doctor, myra keraskan hati, redah je amik course ni. Alhamdulillah, myra dapat course yang myra nak. I did very well actually, Myra dapat Anugerah Pelajar Terbaik Diploma Seni Kulinari untuk 2 kali, 5/6 dean list and paling best sekali masa dapat anugerah Excellence Award for Semester 5 and most importantly proving that my mom was wrong about me. I even pursued to degree of foodservice which is also my first choice.

By the way, talking about entrance to degree in foodservice ni memang ada something menarik yang betul-betul jadi my life game changer. I have no idea lepas habis praktikal tu UiTM bukak application untuk penerapan UiTM for those yang nak sambung degree. Masa tu pulak handphone myra kena curi so myra tak terima apa-apa info pasal penerapan tu. Sedih jugak kawan-kawan semua takde pun yang inform. tanya lecturer pun dia kata taktahu. Frust and bengang jugak lah masa tu sebab tengok kawan-kawan semua sambung belajar. At that time myra tengah buat part-time kat Pizza Hut.

On the bright side sempat la kerja kat 3 tempat kerja and dapat macam-macam pengalaman. Lepas 2 bulan kat Pizza Hut then myra kerja kat Bigfood F&B as pastry assistant. Kat situ memang best lah sebab dapat belajar macam-macam pasal desserts, bakeries and pastries since tu memang major myra. Tak lama kerja kat situ, I got problem with the owner's son yang asyik carik pasal dengan myra. Last-last chef Pakli kat tempat praktikal lama panggil kerja dengan dia. Sempat la kerja 6 bulan kat sana, Tu pun tahan je dengan bitch yang myra citer kat last post ni.

Dalam bulan Mac, akhirnya myra sambung Degree in Foodservice Management kat UiTM Puncak Alam. And at the time I met someone who actually brings a lot of impact, that kind of impact that Arin gave me. For the second time, even though lepas dengan Arin I have few not working relationships, this time it felt like I really2 fell in love. It was short because he couldn't commit with me due to his work. I went to a depression mode during my examination week, made me push people away from me. And my classmates think I'm being selfish and have no idea I have a problem. I was depressed and to certain extent it feels suicidal. Yes, the tense got real because I lost 7kg just after 1 month. I also received the news that my beloved tok chik passed away and I can't return home because I have tight exam schedule, So many things happened in one month.

I'm so lucky however I scored flying colors examination result, 3,86 CGPA. not bad huh? I even got selected as an exchange student to Universitas Pendidikan Indonesia. Takut sangat masa tu jadi balik macam form 4 & form 5. Alhamduillah, I survived. And all the pain and tears, it was worth it.


Come to think again, I was grateful I didn't got the offer to SBP or MRSM because I maybe end up stucked doing things that I don't actually have my passion on. I also came across a profile of me during primary school. I said I wanna be a chef. Kenapa chef? Myra ingat lagi jawapan myra masa tu. Sebab banyak lelaki je jadi chef, perempuan takde. Haha. Kecik2 dah jadi feminist. Surprisingly, I started to fall in love with culinary because I helped my mom's friend making 'kuih raya' when i was just 9 years old. It was hidden passion and I was so lucky that I found it before its too late to turn back.

So readers, myra taip panjang-panjang ni bukan untuk tatapan korang saja-saja tau. Yang baik jadikan teladan, yang buruk jadikan sempadan. And jangan sekali-kali buruk sangka dengan Allah. Sesungguhnya dia ada perancangan yang lebih baik untuk kita. Have faith. If it doesn't meant for you always remember that, kita mungkin tak dapat apa yang kita hendakkan sebab Allah nak beri apa yang kita perlukan. Till' we meet again! Assalamualaikum :)






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Wednesday, December 24, 2014

One Soul Backpacker - Melaka Bandaraya Bersejarah (Behind The Scene)

Assalamualaikum,


Hari ni myra bersiaran langsung dari Melaka Bandaraya Bersejarah. actually, ni benda paling gila myra pernah buat. Myra sepatutnya pergi kerja pagi tadi pukul 7 alih2 pukul 1 myra dah ada kat Melaka.

Semalam sebenarnya hari paling disaster myra -
hari dimana tahap boiling point myra dah over limit.
semuaya sebab perempuan tu.


Apa rasa kena jerkah depan customer?
terkejut smpai satu badan tersentak.
Apa rasa kena panggil lembab?
Apa rasa bila dah buat sehabis baik, tapi tetap dipanggil buat kerja satu pun tak betul.
dari siapa?
dari orang yang bukan berhak pun.
tapi kerana dia punya pengalaman bertahun-tahun,
punya jawatan lebih tinggi dari aku.


Entah, mungkin orang tak dapat rasa apa aku rasa.
Benda ni bukan sebab semalam atau dua tiga hari lepas.
benda ni dah lama ditahan, dipendam.
pendam jadi dendam. dendam jadi benci.

entah jugak kenapa,
setiap kali terngiang-ngiang dalam kepala perkataan "lembab" tu luluh rasa hati.
itu penghinaan terbesar.
tapi kebenaran paling pahit, bila aku tak punya kekuatan nak menjawab
aku diam, aku gumam geram, aku telan.
suara aku tersekat kat kerongkong.
taknak air mata pulak mengganti.

Kadang aku benci diri sendiri sebab tak boleh balas balik apa orang kata pada aku.
Because even simplest argument can invite tears to my eyes.
Disebabkan aku tak nak orang tengok betapa cengengnya aku.
aku rela diam.
aku rela tadah.
aku rela senyap.

dan senyap-senyap jugak,
aku tolak pintu 'ladies' dan hamburkan semua sepuas-puasnya.
sampai langsung kering air mata.
sampai sembab mata.
sampai merah mata.
sampai hilang colesan eyeliner.

bila dah hilang semuanya,
aku sapukan wuduk,
aku tambah bedak serba serbi,
aku tambah eyeliner lipstik siap.
aku tampal -- senyuman plastik.

aku silap bila sangka,
"darkest childhood" aku dah berakhir.
aku silap bila fikir takkan ada orang dera perasaan aku lagi.
cukup semua kenangan pahit zaman sekolah rendah.
cukup semua seksa bergelar seorang anak cikgu.
cukup semua orang benci aku, lepaskan geram pada aku
hanya sebab aku seorang anak kepada cikgu mereka.

Bertahun aku mula semula.
Bina keyakinan aku.
Bina reputasi di tempat baru
lupakan aku dulu pernah digelar cengeng.
Aku yakinkan diri aku, aku bukan lagi 'crybaby' yang dulu.
Hati aku takkan mudah diusik, air mata aku takkan mudah tumpah.
Walaupun seringkali aku diuji dengan manusia "pembuli senyap" ini


"pendera perasaan"


Zaman sekolah berakhir.
banyak yang tidak-tidak,
banyak yang pahit-pahit.


Di Universiti aku beruntung. punya kawan dari syurga.
kawan-kawan yang manis. jujur.
senyum aku jadi ikhlas.
apa yang pahit boleh dikira dengan jari.
sebab yang sama jugak, aku selalu rindukan mereka.
kawan-kawan dari syurga.

teruk-teruk pun, aku akan menangis sebelum tidur.
teruk-teruk pun, aku akan menangis atas sejadah.
bukan dalam tandas.

semalam, aku rasa dia dah letak sabar aku paling atas,
maruah aku paling bawah.
kerja memang kerja.
kat mana-mana tempat pun ada masalah
dan aku bukan robot. aku pun ada perasaan.

yang penting, perjalanan ni perjalanan mencari diri.
perjalanan ni pengenalan.
mengenal siapa yang peduli siapa yang tidak.

awal-awal lagi, dah beritahu ayah.
"Ayah, anak ayah ke Melaka."
Driving. Alone.
with short notice.

Luluh hati bila ayah cakap menggigil dia risaukan aku.
Allah.
Sayangnya ayah pada aku.
Aku je yang tak nampak.
Because a dad doesn't parade his affection towards his children, He delivers.
I'm even glad ayah tak marah pun.
dia cuma risau. Dad's instinct.
kereta pun taktau selamat ke tak untuk perjalanan jarak jauh.
tapi aku yakinkan dia, aku nak sampai ke Melaka.
Aku tak mahu patah balik.

Ayah, your babygirl will come home. soon.
Its just not today.


Ayah, adik mintak maaf adik buat ayah risau.
for this time, let me be independent.
I want to find some peace.






ek? takkan bace je? tekan je lahh komen ke,tick ke pas tu FOLLOW eh?

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